Let’s Talk About Vanity—And You’re Not Gonna Expect This

When you hear the word vanity, what comes to mind?

Makeup. Jewelry. Flashy clothes. A mirror obsession. A social media feed full of curated selfies.

And yeah, sure—that can be vanity.

But let me challenge that idea for a moment…

What if vanity is also your head covering?
Your ankle-length dress?
Your polished, put-together "modesty"?

What if that, too, is vanity?

Shocked? Good.
We need to talk about this.

The Real Meaning of Vanity

See, vanity isn’t just about flaunting what the world calls beautiful. It's not limited to crop tops and contouring. Vanity is about the heart.

It's when your appearance—even your “modest” one—becomes a measuring stick.
When what you wear becomes your identity.
When how you look starts to be your idol… or worse, the seat from which you judge others.

Let’s break it down.

In Hebrew, the word translated as “vanity” is hevel (הֶבֶל)—which means vapor, breath, fleeting, meaningless.

“Vanity of vanities! All is vanity.”
— Qoheleth (Ecclesiastes) 1:2, TS2009

That hits.
Because a lot of what we chase—beauty, approval, image, even religious perfection—is just a puff of air if it’s not rooted in YHWH.

Vanity Wears Both Dresses and Denim

I’ve seen it go both ways.

I’ve seen women in full-length skirts and head coverings who radiate zero love—only pride, comparison, and judgment.
And I’ve seen women in jeans and short sleeves pour out YHWH’s love like living water, drawing people closer to Him without even saying a word.

Vanity doesn’t discriminate.
It wears both.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I'm not saying we should throw out modesty. I believe in it. I teach it. My daughter doesn’t wear bikinis. We’ve made intentional choices in our home—not to earn points, but because YHWH led us there.

The difference?
Conviction doesn’t make you a critic.

Let’s Be Honest

Let’s stop using modesty as a weapon.
Let’s stop pretending our outer coverings make us holy while our hearts stay hard.
Let’s stop pushing people away from YHWH while wearing clothes we think make us righteous.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! Because you clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are filled with greed and self-indulgence.”
— Mattithyahu (Matthew) 23:25, TS2009

And if I’m honest—I’ve struggled with this too.
It’s easy to slip into the trap of thinking we’re “doing better” because we look different.

But that’s not love.
That’s not YHWH.
That’s not holiness.

So Before You Judge Her Hemline…

Ask yourself:

“Do I really see her heart, or just her hemline?”
“Am I walking in love—or just walking around judging?”

Because here’s the truth:

“For man looks at the eyes, but YHWH looks at the heart.”
— Shemu’ĕl Aleph (1 Samuel) 16:7, TS2009

YHWH isn’t moved by your long skirts or your bare shoulders.
He’s not impressed by your bare face or your perfectly contoured one.

He’s looking deeper.

If your heart is full of pride, comparison, and criticism?
That’s vanity too.

Modesty Isn’t the Goal—Love Is

So whether you’re barefaced or wearing mascara, in denim or a head covering—make sure the loudest thing people see isn’t your outfit…

…it’s your love.

Let modesty be a fruit, not a filter.
Let conviction lead, not control.
Let YHWH do the shaping.

And let’s stop mistaking vanity for virtue.

“Charm is deceptive and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears YHWH is to be praised.”
— Mishlĕ (Proverbs) 31:30, TS2009