Part 1 The Shackle of Expectations: Trading Blame for Freedom

“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Let’s be honest: YOU are the reason you are unhappy.

Ouch, right? That hurts. But truth often does. The world has conditioned us to carry expectations—of ourselves, of others, of life. And those expectations? They often become premeditated disappointments.

Recently, I began the hard work of letting go of expectations. I thought I had made progress—walked away from the weight. But then I was blindsided. Triggered. Frustrated. Why? Because I hadn’t really let them ALL go. Not fully. Not deeply.

Here’s the truth: expectations are often just silent agreements we never actually voiced. And when others don’t live up to them, we crumble. We rage. We break.

We say things like:

But they are not you. And let’s be real: you don’t even always do what you expect of yourself. How many times have you promised to eat better, get up early, be calm—and still failed?

So why are we holding others to standards we can’t even keep?

This is where disappointment grows. We expect people to love the way we define love. We want them to serve us in the ways we imagined, all without ever communicating those needs. We expect—and then punish. And all of this is not righteousness... it’s pride.

Where Did These Expectations Even Come From?

From childhood (or maybe church), we were told:

But many of those definitions weren’t from YHWH. They were from broken systems, broken people, and broken standards. And over time, these walls we built to feel “safe” became shackles that imprisoned us.

That is not freedom.

That is not love.

That is not Yeshua.

Let’s make this plain:

You come home exhausted. The dishes are piled up. The laundry is untouched. You expected your husband to handle it. But he didn’t. Instead, he chose to play with the kids.

Now you’re angry.

Why?

Because you had an expectation he never agreed to. Yes, he saw the mess. But in his heart, building relationship with his children was the greater priority. That’s not laziness—it’s a different lens.

So now you feel unseen. He feels unappreciated. And the tension builds. You ask yourself, “Is he really the right man?” And he wonders if he’s “good enough for you anymore.”

This is how destruction creeps in—not through sin, but through unspoken standards and unmet expectations.

The Real Problem Isn’t the Task—It’s the Trade

We start believing:

But these are just trades, not truth. And they lead to a trap.

Happiness is never found in the outside—it’s a fruit of internal healing, of peace, of choosing gratitude in the chaos.

Here’s a bitter pill: it’s easier to blame others than face what’s broken inside.

That’s victim mentality. It gets attention, sure. It makes you feel justified. But it also strips you of power.

You start forming a false reality where you are always the one being wronged. And it spreads—across politics, religion, marriage, and race. This isn’t about left or right. Christian or Torah observant. Man or woman.

This is about manipulation masquerading as pain.

 Real Freedom = The Way of Yeshua

True freedom isn’t found in control. It’s found in surrender.

Yeshua didn’t come to give you a list of people to blame—He came to set you free from needing to.

If you're waiting for people to change before you walk in joy, you’ll be waiting forever.

Instead:

Release expectations.

Honor communication.

Choose gratitude.

Heal the inner wounds with YHWH’s Word.

Let love be given, not traded. Let joy be planted, not purchased. Let peace be chosen, not earned.

So ask yourself, what expectations am I silently holding over people in my life?

Where have I blamed others to avoid healing something within?

What can I release to YHWH right now to walk in true freedom?

May this be the season you stop surviving and start thriving—unshackled, honest, and held by YHWH's healing hand.