Part 4: Living It Out — Setting Biblical Boundaries in Real Life
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“Do not move the ancient boundary, Which your fathers have set.”
— Mishlĕ (Proverbs) 22:28, TS2009
We’ve exposed the problem.
We’ve wrestled with the lies.
We’ve unpacked the differences.
Now it’s time to walk it out.
Setting boundaries isn’t a personality trait—it’s a discipline.
It’s not a rejection of others—it’s an act of obedience to YHWH and a declaration of your worth.
What Are Biblical Boundaries?
They’re not:
Walls of punishment
Reactions made in anger
Legalistic rules for others to follow
They are:
Fences of peace
Standards rooted in identity
Acts of love—for yourself and others
“For Elohim is not Elohim of disorder but of peace…”
— Qorintiyim Aleph (1 Corinthians) 14:33, TS2009
When It’s Hard to Hold the Line
Let’s be real: this is where I struggle.
I understand the task.
I know what needs to be done.
But when it comes time to actually enforce a boundary? I crumble.
I worry:
“Did I let them down?”
“Are they mad at me?”
“Am I still lovable?”
And the hardest part? Some people will respect the boundary… and others will push past it.
But listen carefully:
You still hold the line!
Because your boundary is not about them—it’s about creating safety for you.
Boundaries are like walls of safety. They are not bars of isolation—they are fences of peace.
They protect what YHWH is cultivating in your life.
A Practice That Helps: Write Them Out
One thing that has helped me is this:
Write your boundaries down.
Sit with them. Pray through them. Talk them out with a wise counselor or friend. Then print them. Post them. Read them often.
Review them monthly. Put a date next to each time you revisit it.
Why?
Because these aren’t temporary lines that shift with who you’re around. They’re anchors.
They don’t change for your best friend.
They don’t change for your husband.
They don’t change for your pastor or your coworker.
Extreme example to prove a point -
Would you let your child do drugs in front of you?
No. So you wouldn’t let your spouse or a stranger either.
The boundary is yours. The standard is yours. The safety is yours.
You owe no explanation!
You owe yourself safety.
You owe yourself love.
Examples in Real Life
Parenting:
“I won’t argue. If you disobey, you’re choosing the consequence.”
Marriage:
“I need time with YHWH in the mornings. I will guard it.”
Friendships:
“I can’t emotionally take this on. I’m praying for you, but I need space.”
Ministry:
“I can serve in this season, but not every event. My Sabbath matters.”
Scriptures to Anchor In
Mishlĕ (Proverbs) 25:28)
“A broken wall is a man without self-control.”
Timotiyos Bĕt (2 Timothy) 1:7)
“For Elohim has not given us a spirit of cowardice, but of power and of love and of self-control.”
Luqas (Luke) 5:16)
“But He was often withdrawing Himself to lonely places and praying.”