When a Man Won’t Lead: The Fall of the House
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“See then that you walk exactly, not as unwise, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are wicked.” Eph’siyim (Ephesians) 5:15–16, TS2009
We don’t like to talk about this.
We don’t want to admit what we already know deep down:
Our homes are out of order.
Not just strangers' homes—OURS.
We are watching friends, husbands, and even ourselves drift—slowly self-destructing under the weight of distraction, compromise, and silence.
And the truth is painful:
When a man won’t lead, the house begins to fall.
“And if a house is divided against itself, that house is unable to stand.” Marqos (Mark) 3:25, TS2009
If your foundation is uneven—if the wife is anchoring to YHWH while the husband is chasing comfort or distraction—the house will not stand.
And too often, it collapses with everyone still inside:
Children
Marriages
Faith
Legacy
We must stop pretending this doesn’t matter.
The World Has Distracted Our Men
Men have been pulled into:
Entertainment over eternity
Ease over endurance
Screens over Scripture
Pleasure over purpose
Many now choose what makes them happy and comfortable.
They choose the world over worship, escape over prayer, and silence over leadership.
And it’s killing our homes.
We need men to rise up.
To tear down idols.
To worship again.
To teach again.
To pray again.
To lead again.
Because if they don’t, the direction of our marriages—and the hearts of our children—will continue to drift away from the path of YHWH.
Scripture is filled with examples of what happens when men walk in disobedience:
1. Aḏam (Adam): Passive Leadership
“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘Do not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you. In toil you are to eat of it all the days of your life.”
Berěshith (Genesis) 3:17, TS2009
Adam wasn’t actively rebellious—he was passively complicit. He failed to lead, to guard the garden, and to stand in truth. His silence had generational consequences. Sin entered through the man (Romiyim 5:12), and through him, the entire world was cursed.
➤ Consequence:
Death entered, work became toil, childbearing became painful, and mankind was exiled from Eden.
2. Lot: Compromise and Inaction
“And Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law... but to his sons-in-law he seemed to be as one joking.” Berěshith (Genesis) 19:14, TS2009
Lot chose to live near—and then in—a wicked city (Sodom), prioritizing worldly ease over spiritual safety. His leadership failed to protect his household.
➤ Consequences:
His sons-in-law didn’t take him seriously.
His wife looked back and was turned to salt.
His daughters committed incest with him, continuing generational brokenness.
All because of Lot's weak leadership and failure to remove his family from evil.
3. Achan: Secret Sin, Public Consequences
“Did Aḵan son of Zerah not commit a trespass in that which is under the ban, and wrath fell on all the congregation of Yisra’ěl?” Yehoshua (Joshua) 22:20, TS2009
Achan took what YHWH banned. He disobeyed privately, but the fallout was public.
➤ Consequences:
Israel lost a battle they should have won.
Achan’s entire family was stoned and burned with him.
His sin cost his whole household their lives.
4. Eli: Permissive Parenting, No Correction
“Why do you esteem your sons more than Me…?” Shemuʼěl Aleph (1 Samuel) 2:29, TS2009
Eli, a priest of YHWH, knew his sons were sinning and dishonoring the Tabernacle—but he didn’t stop them.
➤ Consequences:
YHWH cut off his family line from the priesthood.
Both sons died on the same day.
The Ark was captured, and his daughter-in-law died in labor, saying, “The esteem has departed from Yisra’ěl.”
His unwillingness to confront sin led to national disgrace and personal loss.
5. King Sha’ul (Saul): Disobedience with Good Intentions
“Does YHWH delight in burnt offerings and slaughterings, as in obeying the voice of YHWH? Look, to obey is better than an offering…” Shemuʼěl Aleph (1 Samuel) 15:22, TS2009
Saul spared King Agag and the best animals against YHWH’s command, justifying it as sacrifice. He disobeyed to look holy.
➤ Consequences:
Saul spared King Agag and the best animals against YHWH’s command, justifying it as a sacrifice. He disobeyed to look holy.
Lost his kingdom
Descendants lost favor
Rejected by YHWH
David replaced him
When men choose rebellion, the household bears the cost—every time.
Modern Research Confirms Biblical Truth
A Swiss study on religious practice found:
- If the father is non-practicing, only 2–15% of children continue in the faith.
- If the father is faithful—even when the mother is not—over 75% of children remain in the faith.
- Fathers are spiritual gatekeepers.
- When they are spiritually absent, the home becomes vulnerable.
But What About Us, Women?
We’re often told:
“Sit down.”
“Be silent.”
“You have no say.”
“Stay in an unhealthy marriage.”
But the truth is this:
Gentle doesn’t mean powerless.
Quiet doesn’t mean voiceless.
Submission doesn’t mean enabling sin.
We are not called to usurp our husbands, but neither are we called to stand silent in the ruins.
There is a time for grace. A time to wait. A time to pray. A time to leave.
But also, a time to hold the line.
If your husband won’t stand in his calling…
Will you stand in the house as it falls?
Because if the foundation is cracked and no one says anything—everyone inside suffers.
There Is Hope—but It Comes Through Order
YHWH’s design brings life. But it also demands obedience.
“But I and my house, we serve YHWH.” Yehoshua (Joshua) 24:15, TS2009
Let that not just be a quote…
Let it be a cry from our homes.
Let our marriages reflect heaven.
Let our homes become altars.
Let our children see men repent.
Let our daughters see women pray and speak truth.
Let YHWH rebuild the house.
Final Call: Rise Up and Rebuild
To the men:
It’s time to kill your idols.
Kill your pride.
Kill your distractions.
Lead your family back to YHWH with obedience and love!
We need your worship more than your paycheck.
Your presence more than your power.
To the women:
You are not invisible.
Your faith is not futile.
But don’t carry what he’s meant to crucify.
Let your husband lead your house.
He will answer to YHWH for his household.
Pray.
Speak.
Call him to truth.
Refuse to let your home fall in silence.
“YHWH is near to the broken-hearted, and saves those whose spirit is crushed.”
Tehillim (Psalm) 34:18, TS2009
Speak. Share. Stand.
This isn’t about blame.
It’s about order.
It’s about healing.
It’s about truth.
If your house feels misaligned—you’re not alone.
But don’t let it stay that way.
You can rebuild.
You can repent.
You can return.
YHWH is waiting.
He’s still restoring.
But He restores in order.
Your Next Step: Answer the Call
Men—are you ready to lead?
Women—are you willing to speak the truth in love?
Here’s what you can do today:
1. Pray Psalm 51 aloud—a personal cry of repentance and alignment.
2. Read Ephesians 5 together—or alone if your spouse won’t join you.
3. Talk to your spouse—not to fight, but to invite truth and order.
4. Write down one way you’ve enabled disorder—and repent.
5. Share this message—with a friend, a spouse, a women’s group, or your social media.
Let’s rebuild the house—one obedient step at a time.
Because the world doesn’t need more perfect homes.
It needs set-apart ones.
Homes where YHWH dwells.
Homes that stand.