When Forgiveness Feels Impossible

Forgiveness is one of the hardest commands we are given. It asks us to do something that feels almost unnatural—release the very pain that has pierced us. When people hurt us, the most common response is to either fight back or withdraw. Sometimes, forgiveness gets watered down into “forgive and forget,” which often means we simply push the pain down, ignore the person, and keep our distance. But is that true forgiveness?

The reality is, people are hurting. Sometimes they hurt out of their own wounds. Sometimes they hurt intentionally. Sometimes they don’t even realize what they’ve done. But when it comes to forgiveness, the question isn’t what they deserve, it’s whether we will walk in obedience to YHWH and reflect Yeshua’s heart.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as Elohim in Messiah forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, ESV)

Forgiveness is not pretending the pain never happened. It’s not avoidance or silence. It’s not ignoring the person forever as if they don’t exist. That is avoidance, not forgiveness.

Forgiveness is also not the same thing as reconciliation. Scripture tells us to live at peace with all people as far as it depends on us (Romans 12:18, ESV). Sometimes safety, wisdom, and boundaries mean that reconciliation of relationship cannot happen. But forgiveness can still happen in the heart.

Forgiveness acknowledges the pain, but it also chooses to release the offense into YHWH’s hands. It is costly. It means you no longer hold the person in the courtroom of your heart, replaying the offense and demanding repayment.

Yeshua showed us what forgiveness looks like when He was on the stake:

“And Yeshua said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34, ESV)

Even in His deepest suffering, He interceded for those who hurt Him. That is forgiveness in action.

If forgiveness looked like how we often practice it—“I forgive you, but I never want to see you again”—how devastating it would be for us if Yeshua treated us that way. Imagine if He forgave our sins but then turned His face away, never drawing us near, never calling us His own. That would not be forgiveness—it would be abandonment.

But Yeshua’s forgiveness draws us closer. He doesn’t just wipe away our sin; He restores our identity and welcomes us into relationship:

“No longer do I call you servants… but I have called you friends.” (John 15:15, ESV)

True forgiveness doesn’t just stop at releasing. It steps further into blessing. It prays for the offender. It asks YHWH to heal their brokenness and bring them into His wholeness. This is supernatural, and it is only possible when we allow YHWH’s Spirit to soften our hearts.

“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44, ESV)

A Step for This Week

Who have you forgiven in words but kept at a distance in your prayers? This week, take a deeper step. Don’t just release them—pray for them. Ask YHWH to bless them, to heal them, and to draw them close to Him.

That is the forgiveness Yeshua modeled. That is the forgiveness we are called to live out.